veiled exuberance

none shall pass.

got up at 5 this morning for NO reason.  BAD.  went for a walk.  ok.  helped my rabbits shed.  *sneeze*  were they grateful?  NO.  planted some more plants.  will i EVER be done?  [note to self - never again get a whole flat of plants just because it's cheaper UNLESS you have an actual garden in which to plant them.  this container gardening madness is just that - madness.]  went to work.  immediately got sucked into the department luncheon.  3 HOURS.  doodled.  was pleased by the doodling.  returned.  desk.  INSANITY.  questions galore.  busy, hectic, but good.  met a man with an interesting research query (on behalf of his teenage son).  awesome problem.  wanted to research it (and write something about it) myself.  made a list of everything i have to do by the end of the week.  tried not to FREAK out about it.  success!  put messydesk's chocolate creme pie in the fridge.  *may* have snuck a bite.  *might* have been tasty.  definitely had a whole piece before i left.  yum.  came home.  meant to go for another walk, but it was dark, and i wanted dinner.  and the internets beckoned.  COME HITHER.  the internet is the *new* opiate of the masses.  going to watch a movie now.  and finish my doodles. 

posted by: juuitsu at May 31, 2007 03:44 | link | comments |

i've been drawring postcard art over the past few months.  but i only thought to photograph some of it - *before* sending it out - rather recently...

black star door.


collage-y origamic.

freckles.

posted by: juuitsu at May 30, 2007 04:37 | link | comments (7) |

ok.  i am officially DONE IN.  yes.  this is a good way to be. 

i went for a 20+ miler bike ride yesterday because, you know, i have to prepare for all of these biking events happening later this summer.  got to admit - my thighs weren't exactly ready for the +.  got to my turnaround point and stretched out on someone's lawn for about 10 minutes to recoup.  called my mom to tell her about all of the cool birds i'd seen and realized that she had no idea what i was talking about and was, therefore, not as excited as i wanted her to be.  i should have called mir (as she's one of the people i keep in touch with who actually *took* ornithology with me and understands this obsession i have with The Feathered Ones), but i keep not putting her actual phone number in my cell phone.  hm.  whose fault would that be?  i saw an honest-to-goodness tortoise sitting by the side of the trail.  it looked like it had just dug itself out of the embankment or, possibly, like it was laying eggs.  i'm not sure.  and i'm also not sure if it *was* a tortoise.  is there a difference between turtles and tortoises?  like, are the turtles mostly aquatic?  this one was built for land, which is why i was suprised to see it (it was also enormous - at least a foot across, somewhat longer in length).  it didn't move when i jumped off my bike to get a closer look.  it's eyes seemed very moist.  maybe it was a dead tortoise/turtle.  or perhaps it was very, very sad.

i stopped one more time for about 5 minutes to rehydrate and rest my legs - which were saying things like, "HOW much further is it?"  and "WHY exactly are we doing this again?" and "no, REALLY, we're done now."  so at the end of that my quadriceps were definitely exhausted.  my feet, however, were fine.

today, i thought i'd take care of the feet with a nice hike around somewhere i haven't been, so i drove out to glacial park (the bike trail goes *by* the park, but i've never stopped to hike any of the trails).  i ended up on some horse trail which was a grass trail (one that they have to keep mowed so that people continue to know where it is) pockmarked with deep hoofprints (which were hidden under the grass).  this is an ankle-turning nightmare.  i hiked Very Deliberately and did not twist anything or end up on my ass - a good thing, because at the end i found two ticks crawling on my legs.  the horror.  these ticks, by the way, are no more - these are EX-ticks.  i was hoping the trail(s) would loop me back to where i'd started, but when that didn't happen after about an hour, i turned around and came back.  now my hips hurt.  in addition to the thighs.  my feet still have a few miles left in them...but i'm not sure i want to push it any further.

in case you're curious (and i know you're probably not), these are some of the cool birds i saw yesterday and today:

rose breasted grosbeak
eastern kingbird
cedar waxwing
common yellowthroat warbler
eastern meadowlark

these are all other people's fantastic photos.  i still lack a big honkin' lens for my camera. 

posted by: juuitsu at May 28, 2007 22:28 | link | comments (3) |

overheard in the alley... "iiiiiiii have to tinkle!" 

hope she got to take care of that.  preferably NOT in the alley.  although, it's been quite the little hot spot this weekend.

posted by: juuitsu at May 28, 2007 21:47 | link | comments |

last night while i slept peaceful in my bed, some punks (artistes?) came out and spray painted the building next door.  actually, they may have tagged mine, too, but i haven't been outside to look.  there are police everywhere at the moment taking notes.  there's a big blue bunny that i can see here from my window.  it's...pretty cute.  probably not the best place for it, but as graffiti goes, at least i can tell what it is and it's not, you know, terribly offensive.

posted by: juuitsu at May 27, 2007 12:50 | link | comments (1) |

it's amazing out right now.  i went walking around 8pm - after i'd de-grunged (i had filth all over me from yard work and the 2 hours i spent repotting all of my plants) - and caught a lovely sunset (golden edged, soft pink clouds that darkened into rose as the sun disappeared beneath the horizon).  it's brisk out.  and slightly windy.  it'd be excellent bring a blanket to the park and snuggle with someone weather.  mmm.  since i neglected to bring my blanket and didn't see anyone out there worh snuggling, i'll save it for another time.

my plants gave birth.  again.  to many...plantlings.  i don't know what to do with them all.  i separated what i could, ran out of pots, and had to consign some to the dumpster.  sorry plants, you've been prolific, and i can no longer support you in the style to which you are accustomed.  hopefully i can give some of the offspring away.  the whole plant propagation thing is becoming exhausting.  and it's not like i can keep them in different pots to keep them from making more.  nope.  my plants need birth control. 

i got some flowers at the garden store up in wisc (i made an impromptu trip up to the lake house with my folks and minnow - the dog - this morning/afternoon) and i've got too many of those, too.  bom brought me a tubful of compost, and i ended up planting a lot of the flowers in that.  so she won't be seeing it for awhile.  it's one of those huge round metal basins that one could, feasibly, bathe in.  except not now because one would drown my flowers.  keep out.  i also gave in and bought another gerber daisy.  man, i love those things.  the first one i got died in the summer heat.  i got another one last summer and it was healthy and happy all summer long.  this one is bright pink (the last two were orange). 

the cicadas are all out and about up in wisc.  i saw four on one plant.  they have beady red eyes...others i've seen (the non 17 year ones, i presume) have had green eyes.  i tried to take a picture with my cell phone's camera, but it looks like ass.  or unlike cicada, which is a shame.  these seem kind of sleepy and worn out.  when i caught them last cicada bloom (back when i was in high school), i'd fling them up in the air and they'd fly themselves to safety.  these were so tuckered out it seemed unlikely that they'd be able to get themselves airborn before final impact.  and maybe i'm no longer as evil as i once was.  i feel for those tired out bugs, i really do.

i got all of my yardwork urge out of me...picked up sticks, weeded, chopped down a tree, trimmed bushes, and mowed a lawn.  and then the flowers and the repotting.  i'm pretty tired myself.  *snooze*

minnow visited my apartment for the first time.  we had to coax her up the back stairs - she was *really* nervous and scared.  then she got inside and it must have smelled like me and like bunnies and she ran eagerly from room to room with her little tail wagging (she's a doberman lab mix and her first owners must have docked her tail - she's just got a little stub left), nose to the ground, trying to figure it all out.  i think that it must have all made sense eventually.  like OH, this is where that juuitsu person goes when she's not with me.  hm.  you could see the little wheels turning in her little dog brain.  i don't think she'll remember, but it was interesting to see her figuring it out.

had really bad dreams this morning...there were these horrifying dolls that kept talking to me and menacing me.  i don't know what they intended to *do* but i kept waking myself up before they could get to it...and then i'd slip right back into the dream and some other horrifying doll would take the previous horrifying doll's place and start threatening me again.  i finally managed to stay awake long enough for them to go away completely.  stupid dolls.

i'm making a command decision to throw out that granola/muesli whatever combination that i got a couple months ago.  it still tastes like nothing i want to be eating.  i'd rather get my calories from stuff i actually like.  i'm going to try some yogurt covered cranberries and flakes combination i picked up from target yesternight.  oh.  and if you haven't been to one of those targetPLUSes (that's not what they're called...i forget....but they're the ones that have a grocery store attached), you'll be surprised and shocked to learn that they aren't selling cheapo stuff.  they're selling a lot of exotic cheeses (they even had my parrano!), organic produce and meats (no antibiotics, free-range, etc.), and special stuff.  it's way expensive, too.  as i discovered when i got through the checkout lane.  i also bought underwear.  which definitely made it EVEN MORE expensive.  moral: if you want to feel good about your grocery bill do NOT put two packs of underwear in your shopping cart.

posted by: juuitsu at May 26, 2007 03:47 | link | comments (3) |

storytime...

there's a villa on this island.  not much island - mostly is, not so much land - the villa encompasses most of it.  short grassy fringe on the edges makes it look like its nesting.  we are inside.  myself and my apprentices.  what arts am i teaching them?  i'm not entirely sure.  they are only beginners and we are not very far along, but they need a lot of hand holding.  and none of them wants to be left alone.  so i remain with them and watch them untangling fishing line.  and when they're quietly engrossed, i wander outside and watch the water lap against the fringe.  it's more everglades than open sea here.  and the water is fresh.  we're in/on a lake, but it's a jungle-y seeming place - lots of vegetation, green vibrant growth.  pretty isolated...we're hard to find.  but someone comes.  man on a boat calls out to me. i know him.  he's my father.  he wants me to come with him on the boat.  wants me to take a break from the training, thinks i need it.  it's an excuse, though.  he just wants me to spend some time with him.  time that i never seem to have anymore.  time that's become lost.  if we were fireflies we'd only flicker in acknowledgment from time to time.  he says the fishing is good up north.  if i come along on the boat we can go fishing.  we'll have some time to talk and just be. 

remember when your dad was your best friend?  ok, maybe not best friend, but good buddy.  he'd take me places we both wanted to go.  we liked all the same music.  he let me pretend to shave my face while he was getting ready for work.  we played ball in the street until stacylou got hit in the face and went home crying.  he was mostly quiet.  he'd pat me on the head while we watched flash gordon.  it was good.

i'd like to go on the boat.  i'd like to go fishing.  i'm getting my rod.  and then the apprentices start whining.  can't possibly leave them alone.  who knows what would happen.  i wave dad off sadly.  i can't come.  i wonder how many more of these dates i'll break.  i wonder how much time there is left to us.  how can you fit in all of the things you want to do with all of the people?  later and later.  i'll do it later.  and later becomes too late. 

i walk back inside the villa.  i soothe the apprentices.  i turn them back to their tasks.  i listen to the sound of the boat motoring away.  i hope dad's not too disappointed.  i'm distracted wondering if there's anything new in my mailbox.  so quickly, so easily i move onto other things. 

posted by: juuitsu at May 25, 2007 04:44 | link | comments (1) |

i got better.

the cure? 

1. about 10 hours of sleep over friday and saturday nights (that should scream: NOT ENOUGH!)
2. weights class (even though someone else taught it and it was all weird as a result)
3. 3 long walks
4. 2 postcards, a letter, a blog entry, 4 text messages, and an IM conversation about how sucky work was on Friday
5. a brief infatuation with the idea of becoming first, a horticulturist, second a conservation biologist, third taking organic chemistry classes (after which the infatuation bubble burst...i think i have a block where chemistry is concerned - since high school when "uf, dr. landorf" made me feel like a moron; albeit, a creative moron, but a moron nonetheless), fourth, an intern in controlled burning...
6. whalloping people i mostly didn't know with padded weapons
7. driving around a lot listening to moosic and "The World Is Flat"
8. a cheeryish oberon
9. ice cream
10. rereading a book that was going to be *homework* for my bookclub except that i'd forgotten how much i liked it the first time around...so it was brilliant and entertaining and comfortable the second time around
11. getting eaten by the couch around 8 last night, when i realized i was too tired to care anymore about being nervous and anxious and what i was going to say on monday morning when i started my first day of school visits (i read through the boss lady's script once and decided that it wasn't for me, so i wrote my own this morning and i think i may have said something slightly different each of the 5 times i had to do the presentation, but hey, that's ok.  i think the kids will come away remembering that i was wearing mismatched socks, i let them ask a lot of strange questions, and the people from the martial arts center made their teachers break boards with their FEET!  holy crap!)

posted by: juuitsu at May 21, 2007 23:58 | link | comments (3) |

i'm up early for no reason i can figure out.  hello 6am.  BOING.  yeah.  i trudged off to bed around 11:30 last night after being stuck in youtube hell for hours.  i was trying to find that madtv bobby lee skit where they just follow him around all day with a camera...which, seems like it might be a part of a series of "24" parodies.  didn't see the one i wanted...plenty of the ones i did see were pretty close (i.e. he spends a lot of time sleeping with weird stuff in his underwear).  yeah.  but in this *particular* one that i'm looking for he plays video games, too, and punches someone out, and is late for work, and plays some kind of...auto mechanic?  i'm not sure.  anyway.  it is unfindable by me.

i went to CoD's foamfighting practice yesterday to distract myself (and to beat people up with padded weapons).  i was using oberon's equipment, and Those in Charge wouldn't pass his longish padded...sabers <correction> BAR MACES </correction>?  which stinks, because they are wicked light and have good reach.  i used one in the first round and *killed* someone by smacking her across the butt.  she wanted to know if "death by spanking" was legal.  sure is!  then i had to use one of their dinky realm swords.  i got killed a bit, took some people out a bit.  didn't feel completely out of my element - which i do, sometimes, because i'm not really trained in any fighting arts, so i often don't know what i'm doing.  and i like to be good at stuff.  and not dead a lot (because dead is boring).  when i'm feeling patient, i get in close and wait for a good opportunity.  when i'm not, i just attack (which usually makes me dead very quickly, but occasionally i get lucky).  flew my fish kite afterward.  and climbed a tree (ill-advised in cropped pants and a t-shirt.  i'm abraded all down my calves and forearms.  yay.  can't let a weekend go by without some tortured skin).

looks like things are Afoot in the square.  lots of trailers parked up and down the street - should be a good day to absent myself from the premises.  and i shall.

posted by: juuitsu at May 20, 2007 12:54 | link | comments (1) |

the labored breathing of asthmatic rabbit kicks in like air conditioning - wheeze, wheeze, wheeze - regular, if not exactly comforting.  i'd notice its absence.

i don't know what to do with myself and it's driving me crazy. 

i'm psychologically constipated and stranded here (in my consciousness) with no exlax relief for my pent up frustration.   and when one thing is really wrong, everything else has that little silver lining of wrongness as well.  *sigh*

i really really really want to complain about work.  and i really really really have no one to complain about work TO.  i almost called someone, would have driven any number of miles to just get it out of my system, then realized...no one wants to hear it.  really.  no one does.  and that just pisses me off more.  so now i'm mad about work, mad about people not wanting to hear about work, mad that i'm still thinking about it.  it's freakin' fantastic.

so i thought i should do something completely different and just explode the hell out of here - before i crawl out of my skin - but there's nowhere i want to go and nothing i want to do...alone.  so my kinks are just multiplying. 

i took a walk, but i can't get far enough away.  i stopped by the big blue water tower because i felt like i was going to cry and i didn't want anyone to see me walking down the street and being sad.  there's an old swing set there with one slightly bent support; two swings.  one of them had been tossed over the top.  i sat in the other and started to swing.  it reminded me that these are swings built for elementary school sized butts.  we had a swing in college - just one - that was just.the.right.size.  you could fit two college sized people on it (well, if you stacked them just so).  it was a good place to think about things.

but i don't really want to think about things.  i want a really big distraction so that i can stop thinking about things.  i know, very UN-Heideggerian of me.  i'd like a really immediate solution, something i can do *right now* to make it feel better.  and i don't drink or smoke or have any interesting pharmaceutical dependencies, so i can't self-medicate.  so i'm just thinking about how i can run away, and whether or not it would do any good.  will the next thing really be any more satisfying?  man.  what a stupid funk.

and this is really self indulgent, so i'm going to stop.  i hope tomorrow is better.

posted by: juuitsu at May 19, 2007 03:17 | link | comments |

whee!  what's more fun than a barrel of monkeys?  thingies that let you design avatars!  </whee!>


you can make your very OWN floaty (or not so floaty) avatar here.

posted by: juuitsu at May 18, 2007 01:50 | link | comments (1) |

alison vilski stole my shoes.  that bitch.

in the gym sitting on the bleachers.  asian dude next to me is giving me this smouldering look.  he's not a bad looking asian dude.  i raise my eyebrows back at him.  alison is sitting behind us.  we have the same shoes.  hers are older.  "nice shoes" she smirks.  then she flutters her eyelashes at asian guy.  it's ok.  we can share.  he's certainly fine with that.  we lose our shoes, but not our smiles.  asian guy takes a tumble.  we all do.  but it doesn't hurt.  it's all limbs and wrestling and confusing collisions for awhile.  and then a long rejuvenating nap.  when i rub the sleep out of my eyes, alison's gone and so are my fucking shoes.  bitch.  asian dude sleeps on.

posted by: juuitsu at May 15, 2007 03:24 | link | comments (3) |

i am full of salad.  oof.  make it disamahppear. 

a list of minor irritations...

people who say, "i just printed something" when it's obvious that nothing at all has printed.  they've logged off.  they're printing something ephemeral - like a receipt.  they have no idea if a copy of the receipt has been mailed to them.  they didn't wait to log off until they'd checked to see if it actually printed.  they then look at you like you're an evil bitch from hell when you say, "yeah, there's nothing i can do about that."

actually...the conversation went like this:
"i just printed something?"

i check the printer.  there's nothing there.  "hm.  looks like you didn't.  where were you printing from?"
 
vague pointing ensues.  we walk in the direction of the vague pointing.  aha!  it is a computer!  aha!  it is a logged off, shut down, no longer in service computer.  this is not helpful.

"so.  what were you trying to print?  was it a web page, a document?"

"uh.  i bought something online."

"ok, a receipt?"

nods.

"hm.  did they email you a copy of the receipt?  maybe we could log back in and try printing it from that?"

"i don't know."

[great.  so what the hell am i supposed to DO about it?]

"ok.  well.  your document didn't print.  you don't have it up on the screen anymore.  you don't know if you have a copy of it in your email.  i don't think that there's anything i can do."

"oh."  shoots me an evil look.   "ok."  leaves.

what WAS that?  THAT.  WHAT WAS IT?
 
people who can't wait 20 seconds for you to track something down that THEY have the title, author, and or spelling of WRONG.  because sometimes it takes 20 seconds to find the RIGHT title, author, and/or spelling of something.  like lynyrd skynyrd.
 
people who sign up AND pay for classes and then call the day before and yell at you because THEY don't know WHAT class it is that they signed up for OR WHEN it is.  and they say things like, "well, how was i supposed to know if you didn't call me?  how am i supposed to schedule the rest of my life?"  really, these questions are best answered BY the individual.
 
people who plug their electric SHAVERS into the library's outlets and then get angry when they're asked to move 'em out to make room for someone's laptop.  we'll not even get into the issue of whether or not an electric SHAVER is an appropriate device to be using in the library.  we don't allow hotpots or curling irons...i'm thinking this falls into the same category.

posted by: juuitsu at May 14, 2007 23:12 | link | comments (2) |

sometimes i HATE my computer.  like when it does what it just did and just winks out of existence.  remember those blue screens of DEATH?  yeah, well i still get those occasionally.  this one says: BAD POOL CALLER.  that's why we had to hurry hurry and shut the fuck down.  i don't even know what that means.  is it some kind of underwater square dancing competition?  and why the hell is it taking place in my computer?  i don't know.  anyway.  I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING.  and hopefully i can finish it before it happens again. 

*grumble*

it's 7:30 a.m. and the sky is weird.  i fell asleep at 9:30 last night.  and i smell like dog.  i can't fathom the last part as i am dogless at the moment.  unless, of course, there's some dream dog that haunts my philotic steps at night.  in which case, it needs to bathe.  or i should take time out to bathe it, should i ever consciously encounter it.  er...or subconsciously?  now i'm just confusing myself.

i was playing ball in the street with a bunch of other people - 15 or 16 of us.  it was a crowded city street - crowded with parked cars rather than traffic (we were at a dead end) and we were playing with a number of variously colored balls of similar size.  the object of the game seemed to be to keep them all going - flying through the air, if not constantly airborn - and to make contact with them as many times as possible.  *you* wanted to be the one kicking, throwing, smacking them back at whoever else.  it was random and exhausting and we played for HOURS.  when we finished we made an unvoiced decision to go somewhere else and hustled off through this maze of old, decrepit dorms.  we came out on the other end in some shops and did shop-py things until some guy in our group made a comment that another guy took offense to.  not sure what it was that he said, but the offended guy narrowed his eyes slightly and took off through a curtain hung between that shop and the next.  i followed him.  he looked like Trouble.  and he was.  when i caught up with him, he was on his phone standing in line at the checkout with two sweaters draped over his arm. he was saying, "yeah we're on abel and reardon right now, you'll catch them all if you come now."  he was calling the cops.  bastard.  he saw me and scowled, and made a menacing half-assed grab for me when i took off for the curtain (but missed).  i sounded the alarm - quietly - whispering "gonzo called the cops" out of the corner of my mouth, without looking anyone in the eye, as i passed each person in our group.  we calmly returned to the dorms and then scattered, everyone running, looking for places to hide.  any one of us could have been mistaken for a student, so we just needed a natural student-y niche.  no one was hanging out in the hallways, so we'd have to find something else.  4 of us arrived at an ancient bathroom facility at the same time.  2 found unoccupied stalls, and the remaining 2 of us - me and some other guy - were frantically trying door knobs (the stalls were more like individual rooms/closets than they were bathroom stalls.  the doors went from ceiling to floor).  the occupants of the stalls - for every single one was now occupied - told us to fuck off.  eventually we did.

the guy grabs my hand and we're off - running - in another direction.  "where are we going?"

"this way."

"what's this way?"

he pulls me into a dark room.  we can't see anything.  it's impossible to tell what kind of room we're in, what it's for...it doesn't matter.  he starts kissing me.

"whoa whoa whoa, what are we doing?"

"do you want to get caught?"

"no."

"so.  we're doing this."

ah.  we're no longer looking for an appropriate room where we will pretend to engage in whatever activities it calls for.  this is actually quite perfect.  no one's going to care where they find us if we're doing *this* when they find us.

"ok."

we keep doing this for awhile.  we don't hear any signs of pursuit.  he suggests we do some of *that,* too, because *this* often leads to *that.*

"i don't even know you."

he kisses me some more.  "does it really matter at this point?"

i think about it.  "no."

i can feel us both smiling as we do *this* again. 

the cops?  no idea what became of them.  the others?  ditto. 

it's 8:03 a.m. and the sky is still weird.

posted by: juuitsu at May 13, 2007 14:03 | link | comments (2) |

sleeping with your head at the foot of the bed will give you creepy dreams...


hugely busy reference desk in the late morning early afternoon weekend crowds, staffed by me and someone else who keeps changing.  it's like once a question gets asked, the other person gets so involved she disappears completely and someone else must take her place.  i'm managing the insanity pretty well.  i've got about 4 different things i'm working on and people in various stages of research to check back with.  it's not one of those "needy people" days - these folks all seem capable of and willing to work on their own with some initial guidance.  love them.  i turn my back for a minute so i can find the new car guides for someone, and when i turn back my reference copilot is screaming and freaking out.  someone's been shot.  i look around for *someone* and am surprised when it's the man who asked me for the car guides.  he's sitting on the floor with his hands around his leg - it's pulled up to his chest and there's a medium-sized hole in it where the bullet entered.  i didn't hear anything.  he didn't say or do anything, apparently, to attract *my* attention when he was hit, and the only reason i turned around at all was because A. was making such a ruckus. 

takes a minute for me to access my emergency brain..."ok.  so, gunshot wound.  that's bad.  should do something about that."  the whole thing is just weird, though.  i mean, if the man were panicking, it would be easier to know what to do.  but he's just sitting there calmly holding his leg and...waiting.  and i have no idea who shot him - no one seems to care about that.  should we also be looking for the perpetrator?  and my coworkers are NO help.  no one else, except panicky A., is even paying attention.  business as usual.  right.  so i decide that i will call 911, because no one else has...i think.  and if they have, i'm pretty sure 911 will let me know that they've already talked with someone and that help is on the way.  great.  i make the call.

"hi, this is juuitsu at the blah blah library, and we've got a situation here.  there's a man who's been shot in the leg.  can you send over an emergency team?  he's not losing a lot of blood, and he's pretty calm, but he needs to be seen."

silence on the other end, and then, "hm.  yes.  i see." 

NOTHING further.  aren't they supposed to ask you to keep calm and keep you talking while they send someone over? 

"so, are you going to send someone over?"

"where are you again?"

"uh.  the library.  blah blah library."

she actually begins to ARGUE with me about whether this is really an emergency and where we are.  i explain.  i give her cross streets, i give her any information which i think might be helpful and more that probably isn't.  while she's arguing with me (i'm so confused), i get the people around me to make the man more comfortable and have him lay down on the floor and elevate his leg.  who knows if this is the *right* thing to do, but 911 sure isn't helping me.

there's a breakthrough..."ohmigod!  you're at the LIBRARY!"

my turn to be silent.  "yes.  i've only been saying that over and over again."

"that's right in town here!"

"yes."

silence.

"ok, listen.  the hospital?  is right across the street from us.  it would have been faster for me to call THEM.  and they'd already be here.  are you going to send someone OR NOT?" 

the people around me start shouting: "yeah!  send someone!"

lots of apologizing.  something is happening.  we hear sirens.  i leave the man in the care of the EMTs and run off to find an incident report form.  when all of the people up at the circulation desk just give me blank looks when i tell them what form i'm looking for, i know i'm in for a really really bad day.

posted by: juuitsu at May 12, 2007 13:54 | link | comments (3) |

i have no dessert, so i'm making cornbread.  it is the only sweet thing i have.  well, ok, there are grapes and there are apples, but those are not *dessert,* those are *snacks* - midmorning ones, to be exact.  to be enjoyed between 10 and 11 am when i'm feeling a little peckish at work.  i took all my easter candy to work, you know, back when it was easter?  and  the chocolate bunny is still there.  i've eaten its head and shoulders (knees and toes!) so far, but the rest of it - the torso, the hocks - is calling to me.  work is such a damn minefield if one has a sweet tooth.  walk into the staff lounge and you're assaulted by brownies and little debbie snack cakes, cookies, PIE, individually wrapped candy bars, and the other day there was...strawberry shortcake.  gah.  i missed it, too - i was at a workshop.  i just don't go back there anymore if i can avoid it.  whoever bought the reese's peanut butter cups up at circ must die.  those are reeeeeally hard to resist.  meh.  so, i'm trying to bring healthy-er stuff to munch on.  like apples.  and the other day i tried cutting up green peppers and dipping them in this chipotle hummus stuff.  that's quite tasty.  i'm so not in the mood for it right now.  so there will be cornbread.  in approximately [checks watch] 32 minutes!  'ray!

it was a pretty good day.

i helped a young man research the origins and meaning of the phrase, "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" - he was looking in the encyclopedia, i led him to the dictionaries of idioms.  this was somehow tied in with his science project - he was going to film his old dog as he attempted to teach her some tricks.  he said she got self-conscious on camera.  huh.  who knew?  my dog just attacks anything that lights up.  he said that he'd originally wanted to research Chinese water torture, but his teacher put the kabosh on that.  i was kind of disappointed to hear that - especially after he told me that he had lined up a willing test subject.  some teachers just have no sense of FUN.

the sixth graders are studying medieval times and they all have to build models/replicas of different castles, so i had someone in asking if we had any books on spanish castles.  not so much - other libraries do, but the project is due this friday, so yeah, not going to be able to transfer them that quickly.  we made do with books on spain (travel and general information) and books on castles.  she even found a picture (huzzah!) of the castle she needs to build - IN a book, folks NOT on the internet.  success!

i had a lovely conversation with our local birdman - he's an older Filippino gentleman who speaks very little English, but who loves birds.  he comes in all the time to request books and movies on different species of pet birds.  he can be really hard to understand, but I had all sorts of time to chat with him tonight, so i learned some interesting stuff.  he actually owns, breeds, and raises birds (and recently started selling them as well - he's got an ad in the paper).  he told me all the different kinds of birds he's got, and said that they're all "making eggs" right now (conures, canaries, love birds, society finches).  so i asked if the egg making was something they did more in the spring than at other times of year - yes.  he wanted to know if i had pet birds [no] and why not [never really spent much time around them until my cousins became bird fanatics].  he moved in with his daughter recently and she didn't take to a pair of parrots he owned - they were too loud - so he had to sell them.  he didn't lose money in the transaction, but he was still upset about all the time and energy he put into caring for them and was bummed out that they never produced any offspring - or so i gathered from the following: "I sold.  Loud.  NO EGG."  *grin*  we both had to do a lot of hard listening to understand one another, but i felt that we really communicated, which is awesome.  i certainly couldn't have explained bird breeding in Filippino.  after that?  we looked for Jackie Chan and Tarzan movies.  rock.

i have about 5 things that REALLY need to get done RIGHT NOW, and i keep almost finishing them.  the important phone call i needed to make didn't reach the person i needed to talk to - so i'll have to do that some other time.  the summer reading brochure/log that's *almost* done needs to have instructions written up before i can route it to everyone and send it to be printed (or print in house).  there are a bunch of places i still need to contact about donations (*sigh* HATE this part of my job).  and we still haven't heard back from the middle schools about whether they want us to do classroom visits.  argh.  wait, that's four things.  i lied.  no, there's more.  i'm just sick of thinking about it.

i went to this awesome workshop/conference thingie last friday on library 2.0 web practices, which was all about how libraries are using things like flickr, del.icio.us, wikipedia (or, rather, wikis), podcasting, videos, blogs, MySpace, IM etc. on their websites and in their online catalogs to cater to the *new* library 2.0 patrons.  and there were SO many good ideas and things to get excited about that i came home...well, all EXCITED!  but wary, too, that the current administration isn't going to be AS excited about them as i am.  i may have to do a lot of explaining and winning over before we implement anything.  so far, i've talked up the workshop with several people, sent out an email with all of my notes, copied all the handouts for everyone...one of the things that speakers recommended was that we get comfortable *playing* with the stuff that's out there.  i'm fine with that.  i *like* playing with new toys.  give me MORE.  but i get the feeling that my supervisors don't see that as an asset.  we aren't encouraged to play with anything that isn't a subscription database...and that's kind of depressing.  i'd wager most of our staff has no idea what these things are.  and they feeeear it.  which isn't good.  aren't we supposed to be the ones out there on the edge?  ready to assist people with this very stuff?  mmph.  *muzzles self*  k, so hopefully, all of this information i'm bringing back will be seen as important, good, useful, NECESSARY, and we'll do cool things with it.

[cornbread is done!]

posted by: juuitsu at May 10, 2007 04:17 | link | comments (2) |

"when we are born we have no concept of what we are.  it isn't until we begin biting things that we start to discern between what is and isn't us."  ~sean lennon, part asian, 100% hapa


just finished looking at this...it's a collection of portraits of asian-flavored people (causasian/asian mixes), also known as hapa, or hapa-haole (a hawaiian word) paired with their own short descriptions of "who" they think they are or how they identify themselves.  and this man here on the cover is just beautiful.  he'd be an excellent model for...hmm...maybe a fallen samurai, now living outside his caste, but still trying to uphold his own personal ideals.  being "hapa" myself, i'm intrigued by all of the different expressions of blended nationalities.  there's richness and spice and flavor in this melange.

posted by: juuitsu at May 09, 2007 03:14 | link | comments (8) |

back to NZ...

i was talking about the kayaking.  i was the only person who fell in.  yeah.  beauty AND grace am i.  these kayaks we had were two-seater touring kayaks (i have no idea if this is what they're *actually* called, but it certainly *sounds* believable, right?).  the person in the back has to hold the kayak steady while the person in front gets in and gets situated.  you stretch your skirt out around the hole you're sitting in and that keeps the water out...  so, once that person is ready, you push the kayak out until it's ready to float away and you, the person in the back, jump in - in one fluid motion - while the person in front starts paddling like mad.  then you drop your rudder in so you can steer (which the back person must also do).  so i think E. and i both leaned the same way at the same time, or the kayak moved in a way unanticipated by me, because i fluidly slid right over the seat and into the tasman sea.  we were out far enough that i went under completely.  it was rather surprising.  no one saw.  well, E. noticed, eventually, because i had to drag her back to shore to get in again AND we had to pause because one of our hatches wasn't properly sealed.  i think everyone else just thought we were really slow.  it was hysterical.  also?  good thing i can swim.  ok, i had a life vest on.  it's not like i was going to be pulled into the depths.  and the "depths" were only about me-height at that point. 

surprisingly, what ached the most after our kayaking trip were my thumbs.  and the sunburn i sustained on my neck - do NOT underestimate the effects of reflected sunlight under your chin; slather on the sunscreen.

we went back to Motueka for the night and left for Greymouth the following morning after a very confusing interaction with the owner of our cottage.  he wasn't able to handle credit card transactions, so we sorted out what we owed him in cash.  he seemed quite perplexed by the coin of his nation - something you'd expect from foreigners like us.  we were more familiar with the money than he was.  he proceeded to give us a really bad estimate of how long it would take us to get to Greymouth (unintentionally, i'm sure), and we set off!  it took us pretty much all day to get there.  we stopped at Punakaiki - pancake rocks - on the coast and checked out the cool rock formations and waited for the blow holes (they were supposed to be pretty spectacular at high tide). 


i got a bit impatient with the waiting, so i walked around the park a few times.  E. and C. got some good pictures of the blow holes.  i watched the weka strut their stuff instead.  weka are fearless medium-ish birds with rather bright red legs.  this one walked out of the brush just after we parked and took a walk around our car.  it was very photogenic and seemed unconcerned by human peeples.


in Greymouth, we stayed at the Gold Coast B&B, hosted by the lovely "Glad" who made us a most delicious "warm" breakfast - eggs, sassage, fried tomatoes, and toast - the following morning.  mmm.  there was a laundromat down the street from us where i made a last ditch effort to dry my clothes - hanging them out on the clothesline at Motueka had been a mistake.  the night dew/condensation was so heavy that they were even MORE wet than they had been when i hung them up.  so much for clean things to wear. 

posted by: juuitsu at May 04, 2007 04:48 | link | comments (2) |

been a slow week for ye olde blogge, eh?  yep.  started an art project at work which has been more satisfying than a lot of things i've been doing recently.  i volunteered to design the adult summer reading program reading log.  we had a big meeting about what we were going to do (adult generally follows the kids' program with some slight differences - and more exciting prizes).  the way things are now, i'm stretched between the adult and youth services departments all taut like an overstrung hammock.  if i'm still doing this next year, i may spearhead an actual YOUNG ADULT READING PROGRAM and bypass all of this insanity...not that i'll be able to avoid it [the insanity] entirely.  there was a pause when we were asked who was going to be responsible for the design...and i jumped in and said i'd do it.  i already had a very clear idea in my head as to how i wanted it to look.  i love it when i'm able to translate that onto paper.  i made a really rough mock-up to see how it might all lay out...and then started sketching what i thought would be a very basic design and ended up loving it.  passed it around to the powers that be and they like it lots, too.  so i'm well-pleased and wishing that i had more of this kind of thing to work on and less of...other kinds of things.  do they have a position for staff artist?  and, reference?  ;) 

i spent last week getting pissed off about a lot of stuff - at least that's how i remember it (lots of bitchy postcards to oberon).  and this week?  nothing's bothering me.  that job i applied for before i left for NZ?  never called me back.  didn't acknowledge that they'd even received anything from me.  email inquiries about the position were never answered.  *shrug*  their loss.  the whole got-to-finish-everything-at-the-last-minute pressure is good for me, i guess, because i got more accomplished in the last couple weeks before i left than i had in months.  turns out i can set and follow deadlines of my own making.  i just have to put a big juicy trip on the other end.  is that really being responsible?  or did i trick myself into it?  hm.  additionally, through some miscommunication, i'm not actually signed up to attend this workshop i thought i was going to next week.  if i'd found out last week it would have just been the icing on my layer cake of irritation.

librarian humor: the other day someone was asking where our chidren's poetry books were.  she said, "i know they're in nonfiction, but what number do you put them in?"  our children's person answered that they were in the 811s.  and the woman exclaimed, "that's just where [insert other library name] puts them!"  yes, yes, the dewey decimal system, it's kinda universal amongst those of us that have adopted it.  but it just shows to go ya how to the outsider it's completely arbitrary.  may as well be. 

i love this song.

posted by: juuitsu at May 04, 2007 03:34 | link | comments |

so i'm at that point of saturation, where there are so many things that i could write about that they're all swirling around in my brain and getting mixed up with one another and i cannot concentrate on just one thing.  and i get here.  and i stare.  and then people talk to me and i don't get any writing done at all. 

i've just eaten a packet of croutons.  they were good.  i ran out of time for lunch before my odd reference shift today - 12-3 just doesn't work for me (it screws up when i eat) - so, i ate at 3.  and now, i'm almost but not quite ready for dinner and i want to go and do the pilates class at the gym and if i eat something now, it may make me nauseous in 45 minutes when the class starts.  and since i can't change the class time, but theoretically they could switch my desk time, it is the reference shift that is odd and not the other way around.  are you following me?  do you care?  right.  me neither.

the weekend was a blur, and unlike last weekend, i didn't have an extra day to recover from it, so i'm feeling a little blurred myself. 

i saw Hot Fuzz on Saturday night, and if you have a couple hours free, you should drop everything and go see it, too (if you like any of the following, Simon Pegg, Shaun of the Dead, Spaced, or funny British things with lots of guns, you should go NOW).  the preview was...yeah, i don't know.  i either completely spaced out while i was watching it - thus missing its many-layered and nuanced humor - or, unlike other movie previews, it failed to show ANY of the good parts (pretty much leaving me with the impression that not much happened).  if i had to choose between Hot Fuzz and, say, the nearly tasteless mixed fruit smoothie i had on Sunday, i'd go with Hot Fuzz, which was bursting with flavor.

i spent the rest of Saturday and much of Sunday intermittently fighting and being comatose with oberon.  we also flew a fish kite.

Sunday was national shrimp scampi day!  at least, it was according to the holiday insights website - and you know, i trust them implicitly.  really, it was just an excellent excuse to go to Red Lobster.  and so i did, with three other like-minded individuals.  and we dined on scampi, and broccoli, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats...  it was delicious. 

[here is where i shall insert an ode to cheesy biscuits - as soon as i have the time and presence of mind to write one.] 

an ode to cheesy biscuits:

oh cheesy biscuit
so fluffy and light
involuntarily, i salivate
when you come into sight

your garlic butter cheesy goodness,
a gustatory delight
hot, crumbly, melting
taste sensation insight

cheesy biscuit, i knew
from the very first bite
if lovin' you were wrong
i didn't wanna be right

[i meant HERE.  or, rather, between there and here.  so.  there.]

and now i must go and work on my "powerhouse."  adieu.

posted by: juuitsu at May 01, 2007 00:14 | link | comments (5) |

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